#MomFails
Over the years I have come to accept the fact that I am, for the most part, an embarrassing, awkward, over-opinionated, and klutzy person. I am the star of COUNTLESS stories where I have made an absolute fool of myself, done something super embarrassing, or tripped over nothing. I am anything but perfect and #fail should have been my motto. This has been true since I was a baby. In fact, I found my baby book recently and this is an excerpt from my mom writing in my baby book: “Did I mention what a complete klutz she is? She spends more time on the ground then upright. She runs into everything.” Even though I have been this way since birth, it took me a while to accept this about myself. Becoming a mom, I didn’t think it would just go away, but I also didn’t know exactly how it would play out either.
As a mom of an almost 7 month old now, I have had many #MomFails. I never thought I would have so many of them, especially not this early. However, what I have learned is that failures are a part of life, they provide an opportunity for growth, and they make life so much more interesting. In fact, if I was perfect all of the time then my life would be pretty boring. I certainly wouldn’t have any funny stories to share in a blog!
A lot of people experience “mom guilt”, whether it is from our own thoughts about our #MomFails or from the words/judgments of others. So in case that is you, and you need to feel like you are not alone, have a good ole laugh at some of my #MomFails.
““It’s Everywhere, the Poop is Everywhere”
When Pax was only 2.5 weeks old, I took him into his room to change his diaper because he had pooped. I was feeling like a pro, because I had a whole 2.5 weeks of practice LOL so I didn’t hold his feet very tightly. Of course, he started kicking his feet the instant I opened the diaper. He ended up sticking his sock-covered foot into the heart of the poopy diaper. I then proceeded to take the poopy sock off with one hand. However, if you have ever taken a sock off with one hand you know that it “snaps” off because of the elastic. Well folks, baby socks are no different. So when this poop covered sock snapped off my son’s foot, the poop went flying. It got all over his beautiful light gray wall, the nearby blanket and burp cloth and changing table cover. I busted out laughing, but also felt pretty stupid. It took me a lot of time to clean off the poop from the various surfaces and get him dressed and ready to go. I was thinking to myself about how I know now to not take a dirty sock off with one hand and went about my day. Later in the day I was humbled again because I realized that I had been walking around with poop on my robe. #MomFail
“My Perfectly Prepared Diaper Bag”
On one of our first family adventures out after moving back to Indiana, we went to get some donuts. I love donuts, in fact I have my very own donut Instagram (@donut.enthusiast) all about my love for donuts, so we looked up a place to try and drove downtown to get some delicious donuts. The first place we went was PACKED so we drove to another donut place. On the way to the second donut place, we could smell the telltale smell of Pax poop. So before going into the second place, we opened the trunk and started to change Pax in the back. It was then that we realized his poop had exploded out of the sides and up the back of the diaper and all over his super cute outfit. Not to worry though! I have his diaper bag neatly prepped with extra clothes, wipes, diapers, smell cancelling bags, hand sanitizer, etc. We started the clean up. As it turns out, I had not updated my neatly packed diaper bag in 3 weeks and the situation was about to get a lot more complicated because of it. First we were dangerously low on baby wipes. We had to use every inch of the wipes we had left to get him clean. Secondly, we only had one of the nice smell-cancelling bags left. That meant that we had to prioritize putting the dirty clothes in it since those would be in our car for the next couple hours and we were going to completely ruin someone’s day, and their noses, by putting his smelly diaper in their trash can. Thirdly, Pax had grown in length a lot in the last 3 weeks. So poor Pax had to wear a too-small onesie that had pants that now stopped at his knees instead of his ankles. We also had no extra socks and this is Indiana guys, it was cold. So we had to wrap him in the blanket that we use to cover his car seat with. Lastly, the hand sanitizer that was in the bag was out. So we had to wait until we got inside to wash our hands in the bathroom. It feels like the hashtag #sh%thappens is applicable here.
“I Definitely Cry Over Spilled Milk”
Any mom who breastfeeds knows how precious breast milk is when it is pumped. A lot of mom’s have trouble producing enough milk, so anything that can be pumped is precious. (Imagine a creepy GIF of gollum saying “my precious” here). I had to go back to work 6 weeks after having Pax, so pumping at work became a part of my daily schedule. My job had designated a room for me to be able to pump in, so twice a day I would go into this tiny room, that just had a table and chair, and pump. One day I was in a hurry and rushing, I had training that day that I was teaching and I was in between classes. I had given myself 45 minute window to not only pump but to eat lunch too...ambitious I know. I pumped and produced a total of about 15 oz, so I had about 7 or 8 oz in each bottle. I was rushing and trying to do multiple things at once, which if you ask my husband he will tell you this never ends well for me. I tried to take the pump part off the top of the bottle and unplug the machine at the same time. This led to me knocking a bottle over that still had the pump connected to it. Thankfully it didn’t spill...I had caught it in time...WHEW! “Man would that have sucked” I thought. Still rushing, I reached for the other bottle that I had already removed the pump from and I hit the side of it, knocking it over. I wasn’t so lucky this time. I lost 8 oz of breast milk. It spilled all over the table, the floor, my pants, and my shoes. I could have just rolled up and cried right there in that tiny room. This was not the first time that I spilled breast milk, but this was the most I had ever spilled in one sitting. So not only did I lose a large amount of breast milk, but I had to go back to teaching with breast milk all over my pants and shoes. I also had to find something to clean the room up so that my little pumping room didn’t get ants...#insulttoinjury #saltonthewound LOL
I am guaranteed to have many more #MomFails and so will you. In fact, as I write this, I found a half chewed piece of teething wafer stuck to my butt...Pax ate this about 10 hours ago...oops. Screw feeling guilt because I am not perfect. I have never been perfect and never will be. I am going to just keep laughing at the funny memories I am making. What are your #MomFails? Share some in the comments!